Finding Your Tribe

Picking your wedding party isn’t as easy as it sounds. There is a lot more behind being a bridesmaid than just standing next to the bride at the alter on her wedding day. Need some advice? “Kameko Coleman” has gathered top tips and discusses them in detail below. Check it out!

The wedding of your dreams not only has to have the perfect cake, but you also must surround yourself with the perfect bunch—your bridesmaids.

These girls, and some guys, will be making history with you. They will forever be a part of one of the best days of your life and are witnessing a key life milestone.

Before you send out the “Will you be my bridesmaid?” invitations, you may consider that everyone may not be the best candidate to hold this duty. It’s not just about wearing the perfect dress. It would help if you thought about who can take on this critical responsibility. To be fair, it’s best to start asking at least a year in advance as you do not want to place any last-minute pressure on your friends. With this being said, consider the following tips when eventually making your selection.

Contemplate their availability. Everyone is busy, but some are much busier than others. When selecting your tribe, you must be realistic about who will contribute their time and energy to your big day. You know your closest friends well and are familiar with their schedules. If you know they cannot commit, move on to the next friend. This could get emotional for you if you depend on a friend who in the end cannot commit to your special day.

Select people that mean the most to you. You have 15-line sisters from your sorority, a neighborhood of childhood friends, and colleagues whom you’ve created a bond with. Let’s not forget to mention close family members. You may not have budgeted to have 25 bridesmaids, so you’ll have to narrow down your squad. Think about the few who were there for you during your low and high moments. Reflect on who has contributed to your growth and accepted who you are as a person. These people are essential. They will help make your special day perfect.

Accountability. Ensure they understand their financial obligations and responsibility. While there is the excitement of agreeing on the colors and the styles of the dresses, one may forget that there is a cost associated with every decision made. Bridesmaid dresses are pricey, the shoes are expensive, and let’s not forget the Mani/Pedi, the hair, and the make-up. Need I go on? In addition to the glam, bridesmaids are responsible for throwing the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Traditionally, these selected friends would be funding these events. Ask yourself who are your most responsible friends and who realistically has the means to go all in.

Personalities. You make friends and meet acquaintances at different stages of your life. You do have to keep in mind their characters. You will have your childhood friends with whom you share a lifetime of memories; on the other side, you’ve made new executive friends at work. Lastly, you have your family. They are the people that believe that they know you best. When all personalities get together, it’s not always great. Everyone knows a different version of you. This can lead to forms of jealousy. Attention will shift from the bride-to-be and too much time will be spent correcting conflicting personalities. Think about the select few that are only focused on bringing your vision to life and not concentrating on who should and should not be there on your wedding day.

They must be your Zen. This bridesmaid has the most important assignment—to keep the stress
minimized. There will be many stressful moments. You need a person that will help reduce them. There will be a time when the mood must be lightened and energies lifted. This bridesmaid will always remain in good spirits and stay optimistic throughout this process. That energy is both contagious and necessary. This person will bring everyone back to the focus of the day. You.
Selecting the right bridesmaids for your wedding day is essential. It’s like having that perfect balance of personalities that made the day spectacular. Cheers to choosing the best bride tribe!

Written By: Kameko Coleman